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Friday, February 27, 2015

New Beginnings

Hello Readers!

Well, I’m settled into my new home, with Favorite Youngest Son. Arizona is a definite change from Minnesota!
How many of you have ever had the opportunity to embrace New Beginnings? Not just in the manner than I have recently experienced, but in other methods, too, whether it be the loss of a job or the loss of a loved-one. I think we can all agree (whether you’ve experienced it yourself or not) that divorce isn’t fun, is often very painful, and can be destructive on one’s self-esteem.

A person who goes through a divorce, not of their choosing, can have a painful road to travel. Your self-worth takes a severe blow…(Am I no longer worth loving? Why am I no longer enough?)…your security is ripped out from under you like a trick carpet in a Vaudeville act…(Where will I live? How will I make ends meet? How will I afford health care?)…and you can start to doubt your own decision-making abilities…(If I can’t choose the right partner, are all my choices questionable?).
The entire process can be as painful as losing a loved-one. The loss of a 26-year marriage ranks right up there with the loss of my parents. The gut-wrenching loss for each of my parents still catches me unawares at time. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that this loss is just as painful.

You have to say farewell to something that wasn’t really what you thought it was. I recently saw a video-clip of a huge dog plowing through an equally huge house of cards. The dog just kept going on its merry way, while the builder of the house was left sitting there watching the cards spin through the air before settling back to the floor.
Like that “builder,” I find myself in the position to start anew. There will be many new decisions to make. Just because my choice in partner turned out to be wrong, that doesn’t mean I am incapable of making sound decisions. I have the tools to make my way through this painful period.

I have the CHOICE to let the pain-of-loss or the joy-of-new-things take center stage. While I’m sure there will be hard moments, sad moments, in my future, I’m equally sure that I want to embrace this New Beginning. There is the joy of being a tourist in my own backyard. There will be strangers to meet. Every new person I meet will be another opportunity to learn and grow.
And perhaps develop into a character in a story. I was speaking to someone the other day when an idea for a book 5 in the “Intergalactic Matchmaking Service” series came to me. I’m so excited that my Muse hasn’t been buried by the recent pain; that was one fear I had.

This is my goal…to learn what I can from the pain…to give myself time to grieve…to give myself time to heal…and keep moving forward on my very own Road to a Dream. Many thanks to my friends, family, and fans who are sharing part of their own journeys with me.
Until next time…be kind to each other…and to yourself!


  1. What a very thoughtful post on new beginnings. Sometimes they can be exciting and longed for, other times definitely not wanted. My sister was divorced after 39 years of marriage and once she get past the trauma of it, she found the new life it afforded her was better than anything she'd imagined. It takes a lot to create a positive new beginning out of a bad ending, and I have so much respect for her that she was able to do so.

  2. Ava: You are being way to hard on yourself I think when you write:
    "Just because my choice in partner turned out to be wrong, that doesn’t mean I am incapable of making sound decisions"
    I both suspect and believe that you made a good choice at the time based on the facts you had then. And, that choice's results are Favorite Oldest Son and Favorite Youngest Son.

    I 'hear' in your words the beginning of the wisdom of the serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

    PS Great to hear that your muse found your new home.